Saturday, March 5, 2011

Adjusting to life without Joan

Joan’s sister Dorothy is by now in Hawaii. She flew out yesterday afternoon to meet her daughter Katherine’s mother-in-law to be. Katherine’s fiance is a medico recently discharged from the U.S. Military and has a house in Honolulu. He is ‘shouting’ the airfare for Dorothy and she will be there for just over a week.

Joan and I had a loose division of labour for all the tasks in running a household and our lives. I have had to learn a few tricks about paying the bills and even shopping. Something that would make Joan laugh is me paying some bills by cheque. She was the Lock Banker and I rarely paid for things online with the exception of eBay purchases and computer software. I will get there eventually.

Joan’s cat, Amber, was a gift from Dorothy soon after she was diagnosed with the BigC. Amber was supposed to provide some affection when Joan needed it, but unfortunately it attached itself to me and did not often come to Joan. I was determined to give her back to Dorothy, but since Joan left, the cat has become very friendly to me. I think she knows what I was planning. Years ago I owned a Datsun 260z and when it played up I would drive past a wrecker’s yard on the way home from work. I swear it made the Z go better for a few weeks.
Joan and Amber...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amber is a beautiful cat. We tried to urge my mother to have a cat for company after my dad passed away but she was worried one might eat her if she died.

Bernie said...

This is a hard time for you, everyone will go on with their life and you have to stumble around a bit until you find your way. Don't look too far ahead, one day at a time Kev until you settle into the new normal you must now get use to. There are no words to explain how one feels when they loose their spouse, I am so sorry but I do know that Joan would want you to move forward and be happy. I had to keep myself really busy, I found sitting and thinking too much too painful. Keeping you in my prayers, you can do this just as Joan would want you too...Hugs

Anonymous said...

Kev' I know what you are going through. You will feel so alone. I still keep looking for had, i've just been down in the shed looking at Had's paintings , what you need is a dog. You'd have to walk it every morning andyou could let it sleep on your bed at night,,,,,just kidding. I just muddle through one day at a time. you could lern to catch the bus to fremantle..It would be an adventure foryou. I've had to learn to use my card for bills. Or I pay everthing at the post office i still pay by cheque sometimes.you looked after joan so well' Kev. it will take time to learn to relax. Marg